Georgia cuts benefits for recipients caught being happy

ATLANTA — In a renewed attempt to crack down on fraud, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) reportedly signed new legislation Thursday cutting benefits for recipients caught in the act of being lucky. “If even the faintest glimmer of anything other than abject misery is spotted in their eyes, all benefits will be immediately removed, including SNAP, housing credits and Medicaid,” said Kemp, who explained that the state’s welfare recipients must be required to monitor the serotonin levels is continuously monitored to ensure it does not exceed the legal maximum. “For far too long we have watched low-income Georgians abuse the system by laughing, enjoying reunions with friends and family and, in the worst cases, finding love. From now on, getting help is conditional on meeting with agency officials to confirm that you are sad. We don’t think suffering is too much to ask.” As of press time, the state had filed a lawsuit against a WIC recipient after her baby smiled for the first time.

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